suadade

From wiki...
"In his book In Portugal of 1912, A.F.G Bell writes: "The famous saudade of the Portuguese is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness."


Saudade is different from nostalgia. In nostalgia, one has a mixed happy and sad feeling. A memory of happiness but a sadness for its impossible return and sole existence in the past. Saudade is like nostalgia but with the hope that what is being longed for might return, even if that return is unlikely or so distant in the future to be almost of no consequence to the present. One might make a strong analogy of Nostalgia as a feeling one has for a loved one that has died and saudade as a feeling one has for a loved one that has disappeared. Nostalgia is located in the past and is somewhat conformist while saudades is very present, anguishing, anxious and extends to the future. "

For our 5th anniversary (April 20th for those of you who don't know...) Matthew gave to me a cd containing two lectures given by Nick Cave. One is about writing the LOVE song....and the other is entitled "the word made flesh" (or vica versa i can't remember!)

In regards to writing the love song, a GOOD one, Cave says that there must be "suadade"...a longing...a sadness..that love songs are always sad. the good ones stay with you, as you change they change...


Borges swims in it...the love of dreams, and myths, both, intellectual and untouchable loves...



so, as i have given much, much, much thought to these very subjects...longing, sadness, love...especially over the past couple of years.

i might be one of those (un)fortunate souls...born into a state of suadade...

i long for the sea,
i long for thee,
i long for the cool shade of enormous trees,
i long for a time that isn't this time...


suadade. the hope for something that you know won't happen...you know deep down that it will never, ever in a million years happen...
but deeper down, in your heart of hearts you can clearly picture it...
and it haunts you.
like a ghost...lost.

and you try to tell yourself that life goes on..?

YES!

life; beautiful and amazing, glorious and glowing, ever mysterious, ever changing... it moves,
and i have moved...and i am much better for it...

why is longing for something bad... if you can make that longing into something beautiful?
i feel that suadade can be a catalyst for amazing acts, for charity, art, new love, spirituality...do we not all also harbor that same longing for God?

perhaps that is where the lines cross?