the call

*sigh* what a very long, and gruesome trip it was to san francisco... my sister and i got "the call" last wednesday, and by that afternoon, we were already headed south on I-5 in a rental to be at our fathers' bedside during, what looks like, are his final days. oy vey...the life of a daughter of an alcoholic. egad. what a completely long and sad way to go. for the past 3 years, my sister and i have received the call about 3 times...the doctors always said that he wouldn't make it, that his liver is shot, his kidneys have failed, jaundice, blood poisoning... but he always pulled through in the end...although each time, it seemed to take decades off of him. and each time his doctors told him that one more drink could and would kill him. it was like playing russian roulette...i suppose that my dad felt lucky, because he kept playing... it seems though, that this time he's lost, indeed in that hospital bed lay a shell of a human that once was... he could not move, talk, understand, remember anything or anyone, he is gone already... all i can say at the moment is that i am VERY tired, i feel sort of hazy, and everyone else seems a little crazy to me too. thank goodness for good friends (c&a&spud!), good relatives, (mom, kerry, barry!!), and of course Matthew and Sebastian who are being saints among men to me, even in my hazy-crazed crankiness.